Cashmere
by nothing-rhymes-with-ianto
Summary: Takes place after Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Ianto finally gets a good look at Jack, finally sees the changes, and knows something's wrong.


The first thing Jack did after John departed was call the Saint David's hotel and book rooms as everyone else cleaned up the bits of rubble caused by the explosion.

They all stood dutifully behind him in the lobby as Jack checked in, and murmured a weary thanks as they each received a key card. Jack and Ianto had conjoining rooms, as did Tosh and Gwen. Owen's room conjoined with some stranger, but he didn't care. He just wanted to sleep off the pain of the bullet hole in his side.

"Enjoy yourselves, guys. Do whatever you want." Jack's hand waved in front of him in a general encompassing gesture. They all turned to go up to their rooms. Ianto patted his pockets.

"I'll be right up," he told Jack. "I left my phone in the SUV."

Trudging wearily back to the car, he wondered why Jack was suddenly being so nice. It wasn't like him to use Torchwood's expenses for something like this. Normally, they'd have holed up in a run-down motel or one of their own boarding houses scattered around the city. Ianto found his phone under the seat. He locked the car and went back into the hotel.

The hallway was carpeted in red, the think cloth muffling his footsteps. The door beside his room was open a bit, and Ianto felt fear seize up inside of him, alarms trilling in his brain. One hand on his gun, he pushed the door open the rest of the way. "Jack?"

He found Jack standing in the middle of the lush hotel room, staring about himself with a strange, amazed look on his face.

"Jack?" Ianto touched his shoulder and the captain started, tensing, defensive. Ianto held his hands up in surrender. "It's just me."

Jack relaxed, but the amazed and slightly bewildered look remained. Ianto lifted a hand to rub tiredly at his eyes, and was amazed when Jack cringed away, eyeing his hand warily. He stepped back a bit and really took in Jack's condition, something he hadn't been able to do yet since he'd come back. John Hart had ruined any chance at a proper reunion of any sort. Ianto looked him up and down. The captain was much thinner than usual, and dark circles made his eyes look sunken. His shoulders were slumped, curved inward protectively, as if he was afraid of anticipated blows. There were more lines on his face than Ianto remembered, and a shadow lurked within his gaze that had not been there before.

At Ianto's small, slow gesture, they sat down on the sofa pushed against the wall. Jack's hand reached up and touched the cashmere blanket folded on the arm of the couch. A barely audible gasp left his lips, and he stared at the cloth in wonderment as his fingers stroked up and down.

"What happened, Jack?"

Jack seemed to jerk to awareness. He looked at Ianto, the smile on his face forced and fake and painful-looking, a grimaced parody of his usual grin. "I found my Doctor. We had an adventure, the usual."

Ianto moved closer to Jack, laying a hand on his shoulder. He noticed Jack's minute flinch and ignored it, staring into his captain's eyes, face serious but soft.

"No, Jack, what happened to _you_? How long were you gone? You're different. You're…not you."

Jack shuddered, pulling the blanket into his lap and petting it with both hands.

"It's so soft."

"It's cashmere." Ianto frowned. "The blanket has nothing to do with anything. What happened, Jack?"

Ianto watched, transfixed, as Jack, in an uncharacteristically vulnerable move, pulled the edge of the blanket to his face and rubbed it against his cheek. There was a depth of pain in his eyes that Ianto had no idea how to comfort, and tears shone, hovering on the brink before the he blinked them away. Ianto brought a hand slowly up to Jack's face, making sure the captain saw his movements clearly. He laid a hand on the older man's cheek, amazed when Jack leaned into his touch, eyes closing and a sigh escaping his lips.

"Jack?"

"Ianto, I don't—"

"It's okay. Whenever you want. Whatever you want. It's just, you're not all right, so don't bullshit me."

Ianto wasn't used to being this gentle with Jack. He wasn't used to Jack, or himself, for that matter, being so vulnerable. He wasn't used to this quiet, damaged Captain. Jack opened his mouth to speak, shuddered, and closed it again.

"A year. I was gone for a year." Jack's voice was quiet, laden with pain. Ianto opened his mouth to reply but the captain pressed on. "The Prime Minister, Harold Saxon, wasn't what you thought he was. He was a Timelord, like the Doctor. But he was insane. He took over Earth, killed everyone, destroyed countries. Locked me up and kept the Doctor as a pet. Then he found out I couldn't die. He kept me as a plaything."

Jack shuddered again, and Ianto found himself reaching up to stroke Jack's hair gently. The older man took a trembling breath. "He chained me up. Tortured me. Every day, it seemed. I don't know. It was hard to tell how much time was passing. He was very inventive…."

Jack talked for hours, tears slowly snaking their way down his face, telling Ianto as much as he could bear. By the time he was done, Ianto's other hand had entwined with Jack's, and tears stained his own face.

"Come on," he tugged gently at Jack's hand. "Let's go to bed. You must be exhausted. I promise I'll keep the nightmares away."

Jack nodded and slowly stood, but made no move to undress or lie down. In one hand, he still gripped the blanket tightly. Ianto pulled off Jack's coat, hanging it up. He pulled off Jack's braces, unbuttoned his shirt and folded it, placing it on the sofa. Jack's shoes came off next, then his trousers. He ran his hands gently down Jack's arms and guided him into the bed, tucked the blankets around him. Jack was still clutching the cashmere blanket, and Ianto made sure the soft fabric covered his upper body. Then he undressed himself and got in beside the older man.

Jack sighed, burrowing deep into Ianto's embrace, trying to keep contact with every part of his body. Ianto pulled him closer, realizing that Jack had been deprived a year's worth of gentle human touch. He watched Jack's eyes close as he petted his hair.

That night, he did not allow himself to sleep. He chased away Jack's night terrors with gentle touch and soft kisses. He didn't know how to make Jack go back to normal, but he was pretty sure simple human kindness and love was a start.


End file.
